I used to wish for these days. when the sun would barely come out, when the heat would barely touch my skin, when the never-ending breeze keeps me cool.. when i would lie snugly in bed listening to the raindrops make splattering sounds, watching them make calm patterns on my windows. when i would open the windows and let the raindrops pitter patter on my hands.. doesnt that sound oh-so-lovely??

yet today it all seems so different. all so gloomy. the bright green walls of my bedroom look so grim, and the house looks so dark and empty. i lie scrunched up on my cold bed, my laptop the only source of light i kept on, the rest just seemed unnecessary. I'm listening to Lily Allen. Im hoping to go out. yet i know by fact i do not want to.

the world is dimmed. and who is to blame? i shaln't blame God. Patience is a virtue, yes? My grandmother is hanging on there. dear god i pray for her. but the thought of her just saddens me. and my uncle now lies in the hospital, forever shackled by sickness. everyone grows old, everyone gets ill, so i shaln't blame God.. I'll just hope the weatherman would bring joyful news on the morrow, or i'll just keep praying the raining seasons do not worsen conditons.

yet you* make my day. Some clever lines, some lovely words. no it does not mean i am easily lightened up by outrageous flattery, but yes i am thankful for them. do i believe them you may ask. maybe? most probably not? you know me well. i fish for them just for amusement and laughter, but i do not seek them. I do not deny them but i thank you for them, from my sincere heart. i am sorry but i cannot help but wonder for a motive.. i'm sure you understand. someone so playful and 'mean' suddenly turns into an angel who seems to know you need him.. wouldn't you ever wonder if there is something behind every line?? so i thank you, you have made my day.

This one's for you keju. You're a great friend for now. Even you would agree.

a weird sentimental entry, for a gloomy sad reflective mood.