Paper Hearts

Let's put in some effort and make the world a better place. Throw the aluminium cans into the 'cans' bins, take the public transport instead of personal vehicles, and suck on thumbs instead of cigarettes, and you look up today's news and people are bombing places and killing each other. Excruciating pain it is to remind ourselves to save the earth yet so easy the task to destroy. Mass burials are a must, bombings are a norm, and disasters are the weather. The world is wasted, drunk on misdeeds, selfishness. Everyone's living like there's no tomorrow, like the world's self mending. When really I think one day, god forbid, the world will implode and we'll all disappear because there's nowhere to run. Very sad.

I woke up feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, when really I am void of feeling whatsoever. I ought to feel blessed, because unlike some others halfway round the world, I opened my seeing eyes today. Needless to say, I need to get myself checked, I feel heartless. Very bitter.

I watched my cousin care for her mother in the hospital today with no sign of burden or obligation, and I felt my spirit crumble. I could never do that. I never could compose myself the way she did, and show extensive care and concern that requires much sacrifice and the ability to be a steady walking stick to the ailing man. I could never be that.

Mother's mentioned at times that when they pass on she want me to take care of their funeral for them. And I turned away, on all occasions. Denial's the best thing to do when you cant give your word. Very sad.

I woke up saying that today.

Very sad.