Mum used to tell me I was a sweet darling who had problems talking and smiling. I wouldn't talk to people lest it was absolutely necessary, and I never really bothered smiling. I'd wear dresses paired with shiny shoes, complete with ribbons in my hair. I'd anticipate orchard road trips and Adam Road/Newton Circus midnight suppers, clinging to my favourite rabbit stuff toy. I'd play princess and give my brother the honour of being my savior prince. I'd make cards with hearts and flowers for those I love, and cuddle for almost anything.

I guess she stopped saying that because, people change, she cannot relate that memory to me anymore, I think. Neither can I. The picture never comes out right, and at times its the worst. Looking back at times, I wouldn't reflect on my diaper days or my sweet innocent moments. No, I don't think you would either. We'd look back on the first relationships, the first mistake, the first crime and then the consequences and the habits and the continuous repeated mistakes. We'd look back at impactful events that define us today.

Mistakes. I get goosebumps thinking about it.

--

I remember when we used to laugh about nothing at all
It was better than going mad
From trying to solve all the problems we're going through
Forget 'em all
Cause on those nights we would stand and never fall
Together we faced it all
Remember when we'd

Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those night kept me alive

I remember when we used to drive anywhere but here
As long as we'd forget our lives
We were so young and confused
That we didn't know to laugh or cry
Those nights were ours
They will live and never die
Together we'd stand forever
Remember when we'd

Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those night kept me alive

Those nights belong to us
There's nothing wrong with us
Those nights belong to us

I remember when we used to laugh
And now i wish those nights would last

Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those night kept me alive

Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those night kept me alive
Those nights belong to us
There's nothing wrong
- Those Nights.

Denial, and running is what we do best. Its a habit we all have. Its never easy owning up to your own mistakes, and facing them.
I did a lot of retrospecting this last weekend, and I squirm.
Nevertheless, It summed up to a great weekend, just a twisted ending.