16 December 2007 11:53 PM
The wrong side of my bed
I've always wanted to tell people I love them. Go up to them and tell them they mean the world to me, coupled with a big warm hug. But the thing is, the words can never form in my head.I'd feel it and want it, but the idea of it is ridiculously evanescent; fading before it fully forms. Its not something you can practice to perfection infront of a mirror, because no matter how good you are at speech you cannot fake it if you don't mean it. I'd gather my guts and forget coolness but its still difficult to coo even the slightest word.
Yet I throw around casual I Love Yous when you do me simple favours or simply get on my good side. I love people and I'd like to think I do not despise or hate anyone in particular. I could dislike you for what's worth but its never a feat for me to like you. just so you know.
Triple cheers for the holidays are here. I have many plans to fill my time but nothing competes with the idea that my bed is cold and it'll receive me with open arms. Half the time I underappreciate my bed because by the time I hit the sacks I am flung into unconsciousness, its difficult to recall in the morning if my bed was good. I remember my primary school teacher telling me that half the human race overlooks the littlest things, yet overreact for some very small things as well.
We're a bunch of weirdos, that's how she ended her speech. Classic.
So, its goodbye to BSU team 4 and (add emphasis here) hello to 3 weeks of well deserved holidays. For a day much anticipated, it was a pretty sad thing.I had a good time, 9 full weeks of back to back deadline-keeping and fun and laughter. I don't want to sound like the old graying lady on her rocking chair by the fireplace, but really there were good times then.
I think for the time being I'd like to sit down and just reflect. If I could be dramatic I'd built myself a tent and light a candle and sit quietly inside, thinking. I've always thought myself best with some quiet alone time, because it makes me relax and forget people for a minute, and half the time it inspires me to be a better person.
I miss the times after dinner, I'd sit next to you and I could ask you all the questions in the world, of life and of everything. You'd sit quietly and ponder before giving me that perfect answer. You'd use that calm tone and speak a simpletons way; no fuss, no out of points. You'd laugh at my naivety and smile at my point of views, all in good nature.
Again and again it tears me apart, the way you buried your face in your hands and cried when you heard the news. I could've tried to be there with you but I guess i thought it better than to offer my own quivering shoulders.
Yet I'd like to think we're all coping just fine. Yesterday I came home from work carrying 6 litres of ice cream. Yes 6 sinful litres. That's how we try.
I Love You.
I've always wanted to tell people I love them. Go up to them and tell them they mean the world to me, coupled with a big warm hug. But the thing is, the words can never form in my head.I'd feel it and want it, but the idea of it is ridiculously evanescent; fading before it fully forms. Its not something you can practice to perfection infront of a mirror, because no matter how good you are at speech you cannot fake it if you don't mean it. I'd gather my guts and forget coolness but its still difficult to coo even the slightest word.
Yet I throw around casual I Love Yous when you do me simple favours or simply get on my good side. I love people and I'd like to think I do not despise or hate anyone in particular. I could dislike you for what's worth but its never a feat for me to like you. just so you know.
Triple cheers for the holidays are here. I have many plans to fill my time but nothing competes with the idea that my bed is cold and it'll receive me with open arms. Half the time I underappreciate my bed because by the time I hit the sacks I am flung into unconsciousness, its difficult to recall in the morning if my bed was good. I remember my primary school teacher telling me that half the human race overlooks the littlest things, yet overreact for some very small things as well.
We're a bunch of weirdos, that's how she ended her speech. Classic.
So, its goodbye to BSU team 4 and (add emphasis here) hello to 3 weeks of well deserved holidays. For a day much anticipated, it was a pretty sad thing.I had a good time, 9 full weeks of back to back deadline-keeping and fun and laughter. I don't want to sound like the old graying lady on her rocking chair by the fireplace, but really there were good times then.
I think for the time being I'd like to sit down and just reflect. If I could be dramatic I'd built myself a tent and light a candle and sit quietly inside, thinking. I've always thought myself best with some quiet alone time, because it makes me relax and forget people for a minute, and half the time it inspires me to be a better person.
I miss the times after dinner, I'd sit next to you and I could ask you all the questions in the world, of life and of everything. You'd sit quietly and ponder before giving me that perfect answer. You'd use that calm tone and speak a simpletons way; no fuss, no out of points. You'd laugh at my naivety and smile at my point of views, all in good nature.
Again and again it tears me apart, the way you buried your face in your hands and cried when you heard the news. I could've tried to be there with you but I guess i thought it better than to offer my own quivering shoulders.
Yet I'd like to think we're all coping just fine. Yesterday I came home from work carrying 6 litres of ice cream. Yes 6 sinful litres. That's how we try.
I Love You.
.
play
