Sand in your shoes and the wind in your face

What of the woman who made your existence here scientifically logical?

Mothers' Day used to be about trying and failing to cook at 8/9/10 years old, humongous cards, lame surprises and eventually dinner paid for by the woman herself. Daddy made our efforts look stupendous and Mummy stifled every laughter that was going to burst right out of her. It was all about fun and heart-felt notions were overlooked. We've always found it ironic how celebrating Mothers' Day required more effort than we ever put in for Fathers' Day. It seemed so everywhere. Nevertheless, Daddy loved quiet family time so we were quick to oblige.

My way to work was pretty nostalgic because there I sat in the mrt next to Mummy, who was heading for her facial, and I realised we hadn't squabbled for quite a bit. I try not to think that its because she's pacified by shopping, but more because we're putting in the effort to be at peace with each other. Completed chores, money management, lesser arguments, dinner together as a family and being home before it grew too dark - it lightens her mood obviously.

I came to think that, eventually, I love my mother. I cannot hate her. This, said not to remind myself, but more like a matter-of-a-fact statment. I used to think she was a ... because she kept picking on me and made it look like she was the only one suffering the pain. For a while I illusioned that she hates me and that we would never be on the same page. And I was almost entirely convinced that I hated her too.

But for all its worth, I want to prove it wrong. Thoughts provoked by sharp words flung and tempers trashed about, I will never hate my mother. She is, afterall, the only one I have left and will ever have.

They say,
"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children."

In a fit of anger, I could cry and wail because with such a tight grip on me she's ruined my freedom as a child but I'd never know if Mummy ever cried at night and wished she were young again and had a husband to love her and had no troubles clinging to the hem of her skirt.

***

Mummy won an award! Some Singapore Role Model worker or something, somewhere along that line. (When I get the correct award title I'll let you know.) I'm happy for her, really. Nothing beats seeing her all happy and excited.

School's out and we have 2 weeks of school break before FINAL YEAR STUDENT status. Nerve-wrecking actually.For now, I want wake up late,slack at home,shop,drive,watch movie,go sight-seeing,work.
And I haven't touched my Anne Frank book since Sunday.
And I cannot wait for the chalet this Saturday!
And I must be the last person on earth to post pictures and blog on our Games Day, end of TEP and darling Qiu Ting's birthday.

=)LOVE.