To face a certain something, to deal with a certain situation, take a deep breath and go for it. Look ahead and don't choke. Stand firm and believe in your decisions. When things don't go according to what your brain churned up, the red alert goes on and you rummage your mind for a quick rebut for the things that didn't go your way.

I got it all messed up, top to toe. I couldn't tell good from bad, right from wrong, selfish from rational, anger from sadness. Nothing is worst than when your stand is questioned and your weakness is tested. Suddenly you're no longer making any sense and what you stood for for so long is being mocked by a different perspective.

I was going to hurl; from the way you threw everything in my face.

Now that I got what I wanted, why does it feel so bad?

Couldn't you just look at the positive side of things? Be a bit of an optimist?
There is enough bitterness in you to make the whole world implode.