05 March 2009 11:57 PM
Jump
I'm home and the first thing I did when I spent my day at home was to walk around like the surroundings were nothing familiar. I stared into space for reasons unknown and when i go about doing something, i felt very lost. Its pretty sad, come to think of it, because my mother has her standard procedures on how things are done and chores are completed that when I did them today it felt as if I've just messed up her routine of running the house.
Its something new I should say, having practically nothing to be thinking about (apparently) and that there's nowhere to be or nothing to be doing, What's newer is the fact that this is no term break or school holiday, its a permanent release from school.
I slept long hours this morning and when I stubbornly lazed and slept till 12noon, I dreamt I had purposely skipped my Customer Behaviour paper and had no MC/valid excuse and that I was thrown back into school to complete my course. A possible nightmare, it was nerve-wrecking.
KL was a pretty escape from reality with a bit of a heartache, but a lot on the fun. Like I said I wouldn't bet on being homesick because it was for me a once in a lifetime chance to forget about things at home and leave everything else behind. It would definitely be a feeling largely missed, and coming home really didn't feel all that awesome.
I hadn't strayed in any way. The plan to puff away, get drunk and go high on illegal substances never really materialised because I didn't want to choke and die in a foreign land, I didn't want to screw up and sleep elsewhere and I didn't want a complicated process back home.
I need to start boxing up the old school books and make way for neater shelves because school is done for, I don't need the paper clutter. I need to get a job. I need to stop thinking about missing people. I need to stop dreaming about the beach and the jetty and the lovely whooshing of water crashing against the shore and the salted wind in my hair and in my face.
My 7 year old brother just spoke to me like I've been gone for 3 years instead of 3 days. And I just hinted to my mum that I want us to shift. As always, I go unheard.
I'm home and the first thing I did when I spent my day at home was to walk around like the surroundings were nothing familiar. I stared into space for reasons unknown and when i go about doing something, i felt very lost. Its pretty sad, come to think of it, because my mother has her standard procedures on how things are done and chores are completed that when I did them today it felt as if I've just messed up her routine of running the house.
Its something new I should say, having practically nothing to be thinking about (apparently) and that there's nowhere to be or nothing to be doing, What's newer is the fact that this is no term break or school holiday, its a permanent release from school.
I slept long hours this morning and when I stubbornly lazed and slept till 12noon, I dreamt I had purposely skipped my Customer Behaviour paper and had no MC/valid excuse and that I was thrown back into school to complete my course. A possible nightmare, it was nerve-wrecking.
KL was a pretty escape from reality with a bit of a heartache, but a lot on the fun. Like I said I wouldn't bet on being homesick because it was for me a once in a lifetime chance to forget about things at home and leave everything else behind. It would definitely be a feeling largely missed, and coming home really didn't feel all that awesome.I hadn't strayed in any way. The plan to puff away, get drunk and go high on illegal substances never really materialised because I didn't want to choke and die in a foreign land, I didn't want to screw up and sleep elsewhere and I didn't want a complicated process back home.
I need to start boxing up the old school books and make way for neater shelves because school is done for, I don't need the paper clutter. I need to get a job. I need to stop thinking about missing people. I need to stop dreaming about the beach and the jetty and the lovely whooshing of water crashing against the shore and the salted wind in my hair and in my face.
My 7 year old brother just spoke to me like I've been gone for 3 years instead of 3 days. And I just hinted to my mum that I want us to shift. As always, I go unheard.
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play
