Muted

I baked. I was thinking and I baked. I didn't want to speak or say anything or converse anything unnecessary so I baked banana nut muffins because I know when I baked no one bothers me. They just take in the aroma and wait for the golden browns to come out of the baking tray and onto the serving dishes.

People say when you voice out your doubts it suddenly feels as if it has been confirmed. Well I guess that was the mistake because my head is cracking and I can feel my heart sinking down to my butt. Its not funny, its not funny when you have a lot to think and you know its a habit that you ought to break but you can't because you just feel so strong about it it becomes unbreakable.

Sounds stupid I know, on a Sunday afternoon.

I've had enough heart-to-heart talk to remind me that I actually do have one, a foolish one at that. They say its an awful truth, something they roll their eyes on and make funny hissing sounds about. Because, they say, when I finally commit pigs will soar above our heads.

My brother wishes he had a driver's license, and silently I wish he were the one too. Because I wouldn't mind the passenger seat, more than half the time.