09 September 2009 3:45 PM
We do not leave matters solely to the heart
When I was young I left men as I left clothes, in heaps on the floor. It seemed better that way. I had figured out that it was hard for someone to leave you when you're already gone. Emotionally, I always had my bags packed - a therapist, if I ever had time to consult one, would probably say it was something to do with my dad walking out on us. Besides, I took the Grouche Marx line: why would I want to be in a relationship with anyone dumb enough to want a relationship with me? It took Richard to show me that love could be an investment, something which could silently accrue and promsed long- term returns instead of a gamble that would leave you broken and broke.
Nothing lands on me long enough to grow rooted to the heart. As when I've lived to be detached, I might as well have lived evasively, in denial.
I didn't have a good start today. I haven't been having a good start lately. Its been increasingly difficult to peel away from the bed, and after 18 days of fasting I learn I cannot eat full meals in the morning or its washing machine for a stomach and stinging eye-drop solution at the back of the throat.
Destination Home is always soothing, but I need a stop at the mall. Give me 15 minutes, its possible with me.
When I was young I left men as I left clothes, in heaps on the floor. It seemed better that way. I had figured out that it was hard for someone to leave you when you're already gone. Emotionally, I always had my bags packed - a therapist, if I ever had time to consult one, would probably say it was something to do with my dad walking out on us. Besides, I took the Grouche Marx line: why would I want to be in a relationship with anyone dumb enough to want a relationship with me? It took Richard to show me that love could be an investment, something which could silently accrue and promsed long- term returns instead of a gamble that would leave you broken and broke.
Nothing lands on me long enough to grow rooted to the heart. As when I've lived to be detached, I might as well have lived evasively, in denial.
I didn't have a good start today. I haven't been having a good start lately. Its been increasingly difficult to peel away from the bed, and after 18 days of fasting I learn I cannot eat full meals in the morning or its washing machine for a stomach and stinging eye-drop solution at the back of the throat.
Destination Home is always soothing, but I need a stop at the mall. Give me 15 minutes, its possible with me.
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